


That One Rule

by LifeIsWay2short2takeItSlow



Category: NCIS
Genre: First Kiss, Gibbs' Rules, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 11:35:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20357809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LifeIsWay2short2takeItSlow/pseuds/LifeIsWay2short2takeItSlow
Summary: Tony and Ziva cannot figure out the meaning behind one of Gibbs' mysterious rules





	That One Rule

“I just don’t get it.” Ziva frowns, going over Gibbs’ rules for the umpteenth time.

She and Tony got in before the rest of the team – him because he slept there last night, and her because there’s one rule that she just _doesn’t_ understand.

“36.”

“If it feels like you're being played, you probably are,” Tony replies verbatim.

“35.”

“Always watch the watchers.” He sighs. “This is stupid. If we haven’t gotten it now, what’s the use?”

“34.” She grinds out, ignoring him.

“If it exists, there is born of it. If there isn't, there will be.”

“That right there!” She growls. “What is born?”

Jimmy walks in on his way to the morgue, but he comes into the bullpen upon hearing Ziva’s roar of annoyance. He looks as if he’s been dragged around by the downtown bus, and Tony comments on this.

“No, it’s just my new cat.” He shakes his head. “What’s wrong in here?”

“Gibbs’ rules.” Tony sighs.

“Rule 34.” Ziva is precise.

Jimmy frowns. “Don’t know that one.”

“If it exists, there is born of it. If there isn't, there will be.” Tony and Ziva supply simultaneously.

“What is born?” Jimmy questions innocently, ever the upbeat gremlin.

“That is what I want to know!” Ziva almost screams.

“Well... I’m parched.” Jimmy jumps to his feet to make a hasty retreat. “I’m going to make some coffee.”

About half an hour later, Tim and Abby come in through the elevator. They’re laughing about some unheard joke and they come to a stop in the bullpen. Balled up pieces of paper are strewn about.

“Maybe it’s about vampires!” Tony calls out. “Vampires can exist!”

“Vampires cannot be born!” Ziva argues. “They are dead! You cannot be born dead!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Tim calls out while Abby whistles. “Thank you. What is all this mess?”

“We are trying to decipher one of Gibbs’ rules,” Ziva replies calmly with an air of annoyance.

“It’s unhealthy, but _someone_ has to do it,” Tony adds, gesturing to the mess they’ve created.

“What rule can cause all this?” Abby asks, collecting an armload to toss out.

“Rule 34,” Ziva remarks, noticing Abby and Tim smile a little.

“If it exists, there is born of it. If there isn't, there will be.” Tony adds.

“You can handle this one, Timmy.” Abby giggles, running off to her lab.

“McGoo? You can translate this?”

“That’s not the rule, Tony. You’re off by a letter.”

“A letter,” Tony repeats.

“Rule 34.” Tim smiles, placing his hands onto Tony’s shoulders. “If it exists, there is _porn_ of it.”

To punctuate the different wording, Tim plants a big kiss on Tony’s lips. “If there isn't, there will be.”


End file.
